It's been 12 hours since we went public with our stories of assault and I have received four more first hand stories of sexual assault associated with VanSlam. That's eleven different people in twelve hours.
Six of the people who came to me to share their stories have my same Perpetrator. I don't feel surprise at knowing he did this to other men and women. I do however feel a great sense of power that everyone is speaking up. Almost all the people who have contacted me have said they don't come to VanSlam because of what happened.
Silence has enabled these Perpetrators to continue, to feel like they are entitled and to know they are safe in their actions. I want everyone to know that speaking up feels really scary right before you do it and then you feel invincible. Now everyone knows what I went through and I don't have any fear of him. The only power he ever had was my fear of him. Fuck I feel good.
As Slam Master elect I am beginning a entirely private spreadsheet of all the reports I am getting with the alleged Perpetrator's name, Survivor's name (if consented to be used), date of report, date in incident/s, Contact information for both Survivor and Perpetrator. I'm trying to be all practical and shit today but I have to say that when you step back form your life and realize that you have so many reports of sexual assault from a little weekly Poetry event being reported to you after less than 24 hours, that you need to create a fucking SPREADSHEET, it makes me feel wild with resolve.